Creating Personal Values
What is my purpose? What is life supposed to be? How do I know how to move on? How can I move on? How did I get here? These and many more questions like it are questions shared by clients over the years. I would love to tell you that I have a quick fix or an easy answer, but I don’t. I ask my clients one simple question…What do you value? Usually, I am met with staring eyes, or broken speech. Often the response follows something like this…Well, I, I think, gosh, I think…. Do you mean something like honesty? And then the discussion ensues.
When is the last time you sat down and physically listed the things in this life, IN YOU, that you value? I’ve lived a lot of life like some people and like many others I have not. What I have learned over the years is if I don’t have a foundation, a constant and steady then I have nothing by which to find the answers: educators rely on education; Christians rely on the bible; Legal system relies on laws. Why would I not have written down “rules” for my life?
I created the “Ruler” of my life. I ruler is a simple measuring tool that is steady, accurate and dependable. I took the same concept, sat down and chose the markers by which I measure my life, how I make decisions, changes jobs, choose friends, or decide on a personal relationship. The ruler I created includes the values I have for myself. The values I chose allow me to lay my head on my pillow at night and say job well done.
STEP 1: Choose your values.
A quick google search will help you develop your list. Choose as many or as few you feel reflect your life goals. For example: Integrity, faith, honesty, acceptance, learning, physical health, family, respect…
STEP 2: Define your values.
Take the time to define what the values mean to you and how they apply to your life goals. For example, Faith – faith is my active participation in Christianity by living my life daily walking with Jesus. I will participate through devotions, bible studies, reading the word, attending church or small group. I will use faith to build relationships and aid in how I communicate with people.
STEP 3: Measure your life choices.
When faced with a choice go back to the ruler of values and see where it aligns or doesn’t align. Does that job offer requiring you to uproot your family align with your values… Does this friendship with conflict requiring conflict resolution skills or do I need to let go…
Evaluate your values! We are ever growing, learning and developing human beings. Life stages require an evaluation to make sure our goals and our values align. For example, in my 50’s my career direction is much different than when I was in my 20’s. Most likely in my 20’s I would have said ambition defined as climbing the corporate ladder, or earning a better position, is a value. However, in my 50’s the value of ambition converts to continuing to learn and grow to master my skills and be personally fulfilled.
What are you waiting for? Pencil and paper are all you need to get started on ruling your life!!